Carry On the Legacy
by Midoriri
Summary: AU, Genderswitch, "I'm pregnant." Those are the words that begin one of the most difficult parts of Near's life; bringing a new life into the world.


She was breathing heavily, her eyes half-open. Her arms wrapped around Mello's neck as they moved together, his eyes on her the whole time. "M-Mello..." she breathed, turning her head. He didn't answer. He hadn't said anything, only breathed just as heavily as she did. Her eyes closed as she felt his lips go to her throat. _I love you, Mello... _

"Near..."

...

"Near!"

Dark eyes opened wide, their owner interrupted from her nap. Near slowly sat up, moaning as she did so, and stretched her arms over her head. She then turned her head to regard the blonde woman behind her. "What is it, Lidner?"

"You were asleep in the middle of your castle again," Lidner told her, as if it weren't obvious. She raised an eyebrow as she watched Near take a look at her surroundings as though she had suddenly woken up with amnesia.

"Oh," she said simply, blinking tiredly before sinking back down, once again laying on her side. "Thank you," she added.

"Near, have you been getting enough sleep at night?" the older woman asked, crossing her arms like a worried (but stern) mother.

"I've been sleeping well enough," the albino girl said simply. But Lidner doubted it. Why else why a girl be napping during the day so often?

"What time have you been _going_ to sleep?" she pressed on, bending down slightly. "You're not eating chocolate before going to bed, are you?" Granted, Near never seemed to get hyper, no matter how much of that sweet she ate, but one could never be sure...That, and the problem with Near was, after she ate one chocolate bar, she almost immediately craved another. That put quite a dent into the time she went to bed.

"I've been going to bed at the same time I always have," Near answered, sounding as though she were swallowing back a sarcastic _"mother." _(That would have been highly out of character for the girl.) "And I'm laying down because my back hurts," she added, as if that made everything okay.

"Near, you know we got you a heating pad for that," Lidner reminded her.

No answer. The girl instead opted to get to her feet (awkward as that was) and go across the room for another toy; a bear. (One of the few extra toys she had gotten specifically for the baby. She'd reasoned that they could certainly share the others, after the child turned four or so.) "Do you suppose they make plush robots?" she asked, almost rhetorically. "I think the baby would like that better, considering who's carrying it."

_"I'm pregnant," Near announced one day, not looking up from her toy dinosaur. She said this matter-of-factly, as if she were only commenting on the weather. If she was nervous about the reaction, she didn't show it, merely made her Godzilla destroy Lego-Tokyo. _

_Behind her, her team blinked before glancing at each other, then back to her. Lidner cleared her throat. "Near?...What was that?" (Maybe she'd misheard. Maybe Near was pulling their legs...Wait, that couldn't be. Near never joked around like that.)_

_"I said I'm pregnant," Near repeated, turning to look over her shoulder, pausing in her "demolition." "As in 'carrying a child.' That is," she added, turning back, "if my missed period is any indication."_

_"Are you-?" Gevanni began._

_Near interrupted. "And just to be absolutely sure, I took a few pregnancy tests. They were positive."_

_One could have heard a pin drop; it was so quiet. Near had even paused in her playing to see what sort of reaction her team would have. (Now she seemed nervous.)_

_Lidner swallowed. "Near?" she began. "Didn't...didn't you want to take one of those pills? The emergency one?" She wasn't being cruel, she just hadn't pegged Near as the type to want to keep a child, if she conceived at all."Or go to a clinic, or-"  
"I am not terminating the pregnancy," Near answered coldly. "I'm keeping the baby." Her tone suggested that if anybody tried to object, they would be very, very sorry._

_After a few more minutes (during which Near went back to her toys, and Gevanni and Lidner left the room, both feeling the biggest headaches coming on) Rester squatted down behind Near. Near ignored him for a moment before turning to glance at him. "Yes?"_

_"It's Mello's, isn't it?" the man asked her._

_Near froze for a moment before resuming her play as though nothing happened. "Yes," she said. _

_Rester sat down on the floor, watching her drop Godzilla and pick up a car. "Is that why you're not going to terminate? Because it's Mello's?"_

_"The child belongs to both of us," Near answered, the cold edge back in her voice. "Mello is just the father." But she never answered the question._

Near was asleep again. She'd been building a giant maze out of large, soft blocks for the past few hours, and now she was out like a light in the middle of one of the "rooms." Lidner sighed as she moved the uppermost blocks so she could peer inside from above. Near was on her side, as usual, one hand resting on her large stomach. She wasn't even using a pillow, Lidner noted.

And was sleeping so often really good for either of them? Rester had bought Near a book on pregnancy (before he'd found out that she'd been researching it on her own) and it had said that exercise was important for both mother and child. Near seemed to be blowing off that advice, preferring to live as she always had; sitting on the floor surrounded by toys. And when she wasn't playing, she was eating, or sleeping.

That might make birth more painful...

That would get them into trouble soon, Lidner just knew it. "Near..." she whispered, leaning over the rim she'd just made and gently shaking the younger girl's shoulder. "Near, wake up..."

Near groaned and slowly opened her eyes, blinking once before shifting them to stare up at Lidner. "Yes?"

"Near, you shouldn't be sleeping so often," Lidner reprimanded gently. "Are you _sure_ you're getting enough sleep?"

"I've told you several times now, yes," Near sighed, closing her eyes again, intending to slip back into her dreams.

But the elder woman was not to be ignored so easily. "Near, get up," she said sharply, shaking her shoulder a little harder.

Near made a loud groan of protest before sitting up and glaring up at the woman. "What is it?" she grumbled.

"Get up."

"I don't want to."

Both women glared at each other for a few minutes. Neither seemed to want to turn away and 'lose the battle.' Near finally opened her mouth to speak. "I don't want you waking me up anymore. Leave me alone." At those words, she slowly sank back onto her side, still glaring up at Lidner with those dark eyes. Creepy. "Let me sleep..."

The stare-down continued for a few more moments before Lidner turned and walked out, not bothering to replace the brightly-colored blocks she had moved.

Once she was alone, Near sighed, her eyes drifting closed again. Her hand returned to her stomach, lightly rubbing it through the fabric of her new (and considerably larger) nightgown. "Mello..." she sighed as she fell back asleep. Yes, he was dead, but that didn't mean she couldn't slip into dreams and see him again.

_Near leaned over the toilet, hands tightly gripping the porcelain rim, retching up the last bit of last night's dinner. Behind her stood Rester, holding her hair away from the "line of fire." And she didn't doubt that Lidner and Gevanni stood outside the bathroom. After her bout of vomiting was done (for today, anyway) she exhaled deeply and slumped forward, taking in the scent of the chemicals of the toilet water. (Unfortunately, she also got a good whiff of what her stomach had rejected.) "Thank you," she sighed._

_"All done?" asked Rester, raising an eyebrow. "You're_ sure?" _Sometimes, Near had thought it was all finished, only to be hurrying back to the bathroom a few minutes later to get rid of some extra. _

_Near leaned against the toilet for a few more moments, before nodding. "Yes..." Shaking slightly, she rose to her feet and returned to her toys, lifting a plate of cut lemons from the floor to sniff. After a few good inhales of the lemon's scent, she started to feel a little bit better._

_"Near, you need to eat," Gevanni offered._

_"I'm aware of this, Gevanni," she answered him. "I just can't think of what to eat that won't come back out."_

_Lidner smiled a little. The great Near, not knowing something? And here she was thinking that Near had researched everything pregnancy. "Near, you know crackers are supposed to be good for you. And you can't have an empty stomach."_

_"Thank you, Lidner. I'll eat crackers, then," Near said simply as the older woman went to get some. _

_"Don't worry about it, Near, it's supposed to go away in just a few more months," she heard Rester try to reassure the girl._

_"I'm aware of that too. And I can't wait..."_

Rester glanced down at the girl on the floor, laying on her side. "Don't feel like laying on your back?" he asked.

"If I lay on my back, I can't breathe right," Near grumbled, feeling grouchy. "I keep having to use the toilet, too."

"Well, that happens," Lidner sighed as she walked in, hearing that last bit. "I can't believe that you didn't do research on everything, Near..."

The girl chose to ignore her possible jab. "Pregnancy is full of wonder and mystery, so I've heard," she said.

"Do you know what you're going to name it?" Gevanni asked later, watching in slight amusement as the young genius tried to get up from the floor. (It was almost like watching a turtle on its back. And he was never sure if he should help Near get up, or sit back and smile at her efforts.)

Near finally managed to get to her feet, breathing heavily as she did so, and wobbling slightly. "No..." she breathed, walking toward her dice and sitting back down.

Gevanni almost laughed. Hadn't she just had her own equivalent of a triathlon (as far as exertion) trying to rise to her feet? And now she was sitting again?

"I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl," Near confessed, lifting up her Mello puppet and setting it to next to her before beginning her dice-tower. "I've only been getting the ultrasounds done to ensure the baby's health. The doctor had specific orders not to reveal the child's gender."

Gevanni (and Lidner and Rester) had been a little surprised when Near announced, months earlier, that she wanted to go out for the ultrasound (and later birth) rather than stay inside. They had been assuming that she would prefer to be in her "safe haven" among her toys, and simply have a specific doctor come to her. But there could be all sorts of complications, Near had told them, and besides, she would feel a _little _bit safer in a hospital, where all the equipment was. "No doubt some doctors would forget a crucial instrument," she added.

Rester was glad there weren't any doctors in the room, or they may have wanted to strangle the girl.

And at the moment, Gevanni was a little surprised that Near didn't even want to know the gender of the child. Just a little. Most expecting mothers would go through baby-name books once they found out they were pregnant, and have long arguments with their significant others on "this if it's a boy, that if it's a girl." And then after finding out the gender, they'd go out and buy everything with the corresponding color (and a few gender-neutral colors), go back and revise their name choices, and finally settle on a first and middle name, sometimes more than two.

But then, Near wasn't normal, was she?

"You're just going to pick a name after it's born?" he asked.

"That's right," she told him, gingerly placing a die on the stack and turning it so that the five-dotted side faced her.

Lidner chuckled a few feet away. "It's not going to be easy, Near," she informed her. "You really aren't even _considering _a _possibility?"_

"No."

_Early in her pregnancy, Near was found in the middle of her train-track circle, hugging herself tightly as she rocked back and forth, eyes wide. Lidner was the one to find her._

_"Near?" she whispered. "Near, what's wrong?" _

_Near mumbled something into her arms._

_"What?"_

_"I don't...want to lose it," she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper._

_Oh... "Near, it's alright-"_

_"Mello gave me this," she continued, eyes still wide in fear. This didn't look natural...not one bit. Maybe because it wasn't. "If I lose it, there's no other chance. The child's gone, and Mello's gone, and...I don't want to lose this baby!" she cried out, bowing her head and falling to her side. She curled herself into an even tighter ball, breathing heavily._

_Lidner could sense a panic-attack coming on. "Near, you've got to calm down," she tried to reassure her, kneeling by her side. "Near..."_

_Near shook slightly, breathing heavily._

_"Near, please, calm _down!" _Lidner commanded her, tentatively putting a hand on her shoulder. "Near...worrying won't be good for either of you."_

_Near's voice shook slightly. "I'm scared," she confessed quietly. _

_"It's alright..." the older woman said, rubbing her shoulder gently. "Just stay calm...if you take care of yourself, you won't lose the child."_

_Near's voice was still shaky. "Most miscarriages occur in this period."_

_"That doesn't mean _everyone_ miscarries, and it doesn't mean _you _will...Just stay calm..."_

_The two of them were like that for the next ten minutes, Near whispering that she didn't want to lose her child, Lidner trying to reassure her. But Near had a point...The child was Mello's (and hers), and if she lost it...Well, in Near's book, it would be 'all over.'_

"Ngh!" Near groaned and dropped her die, knocking over her tower.

"Near?!"

The girl's hand went to her stomach, shaking slightly as she breathed deeply. "Ow..." she moaned.

Rester was at her side in an instant. "Near, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she was breathing heavily, her eyes shut tight. "My stomach..." she managed to say. Her hand tightened on her nightgown. _"Hurts..."_

Within minutes, they were in an ambulance. Near lay on her back, breathing heavily, eyes squinted closed. Gone was the composed Near that they had known.

The man at Near's side glanced up at the three. "Are you the father?" he asked Rester, a bit awkwardly.

Rester blinked, and flushed. "What-? No!"

"Are you?" Now the question was directed to Gevanni.

"No!"

Lidner jumped in before any more questions could be asked. "The father can't make it," she said, gripping Near's hand in hers. "We're family." (If they weren't family, they would never be allowed in the room with Near, and none of them wanted that.)

And in the hospital, Near wasn't doing much better, pain-wise. Her head was turned to one side as she continued her raspy breathing, sweat starting to stand out on her face. (It was almost enough to make one wish they had a camera, so they could have a snapshot of Near being so far from her usual calm and composed self.) "It hurts..." she breathed. "It hurts..."

"Just hang in there, Natalie," Lidner commanded, using the fake name that Near had used for her check-ups and squeezing her hand gently. (This would pose a problem for the birth certificate, but Near and the rest of the team would get that all straightened out later.) Near squeezed back, hard, as another contraction came.

"Aah!" she cried out. Through the pain, she managed to ask how far she had dilated.

Rester could've laughed. Even in this pain, Near was remembering what she had learned about childbirth.

"Not enough, I'm afraid," the doctor informed her. "You need to be at ten centimeters, and right now you're not even half-way there yet..."

Near cried out as another contraction hit. _Mello!_

"Natalie!" Gevanni cried. "Are you okay?"

"No..." she wheezed.

**-oOo-**

_"Haah...!" _Near gasped before biting her lower lip, drawing a little blood. Several hours had passed, and _now_ the baby was ready to be delivered. Near didn't want to watch, her eyes squinted shut and her hand squeezing Rester's now. (Lidner had pulled away and handed her off to the man so she could give her own hand a much-needed massage.)

"It's alright," the doctor was saying. "Hang in there!"

"It hurts..._It hurts!" _Near cried out.

Rester winced as Near nearly broke his fingers. "Natalie, just push, okay?"

"I'm _trying!" _Near shouted hoarsely. _"Aaah!" _God, it hurt...Mello, where was Mello?!

The doctor was trying to be reassuring, in his own way. "It's alright, miss," he informed her. "I can see the head; it's okay..."

Near could barely hear him; she was focusing too much on her own pain. Her lower regions were burning, she felt exhausted...she just wanted this to end. _**"AAAH!" **_She crushed Rester's hand in hers, screaming louder.

"Would you get over here, please?" Rester pleaded Gevanni.

**"Aaah!"** Near cried again, feeling the pain intensifying. "Get...it...out!" she screamed, what little was left of her usual self gone.

It took hours, but finally, the pain subsided, and a small cry filled the room. Near's grip on Gevanni's hand loosened considerably, and the doctor was smiling. "It's a boy," he told her. "Miss, you have a son!"

Gevanni removed his hand from Near's death-grip on it and shook it slightly. "Great job, Natalie," he chuckled.

Near didn't answer him.

"Natalie?" The laughter faded from Gevanni's voice when he got a better look at Near. The girl's eyes were half-closed, sweat standing out on her forehead, and her breathing was labored. "Natalie!"

Near could vaguely hear his cry. She felt so tired...

"She's lost too much blood!" the doctor cried in alarm.

_I have a son..._Near thought as her vision began to fade. _What...what should I name him...? _Near could feel a strange sensation; she felt tired, more than she ever had in her life, and the strange feeling was what she only describe as _slipping. _Yes, she was slipping away...if she just closed her eyes and went to sleep, everything would be okay. She wouldn't ever have to worry about anything else, she could be relieved of all of it. She wasn't thinking straight, she actually _wanted _this. _Just...let me sleep..._she thought as the scene around her went black, and she could only barely hear the doctor cry out "What are your blood types?" and her baby's crying before she couldn't hear anything else...

**-oOo-**

Near was standing in a hallway, filled with mist. Once again, she was her calm and composed self as she stared down into the door on the other end. The pain was all gone...she couldn't hear anything from that hospital room. Her son...was her son okay?

But she couldn't go back...she had to keep walking. Now that she was here, it was impossible to turn back. Rester, Gevanni, and Lidner could surely care for her child. And as for the name of L...well, there were plenty of other successors at the orphanage, right?

She took one step forward, then another, feeling apprehensive. Something didn't feel right...she couldn't leave everything, could she? _But I have no choice now, _she thought as she took another step.

"What are you doing in here?!" came an angry voice.

Near blinked in shock when she saw a dark shape take form in front of her, the features coming into clearer focus until a certain blonde stood before her, arms folded. "Mello..." she whispered.

Mello glared at her, like he always had. "Trying to get out of responsibility?" he asked, withdrawing a chocolate bar from out of nowhere. (Near almost laughed. So even in the afterlife, Mello got to eat as much chocolate as he wanted.) "How unlike you..."

"No..." Near answered him quietly. "I can't help it. I'm dead now, just like you."

_"Shut up!" _Mello growled, lowering the chocolate bar and moving closer to her. He took her chin in one hand and tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "You listen to me. You are _not_ going to die now. You are going to turn around, and go back, right now! I don't want to see you back in here ever again until you're old and wrinkled, do you understand me?"

Near blinked in shock before smiling slightly and nodding. "I understand you perfectly, Mello. I understand that you apparently care about me much more than you let on."

Mello growled again and pressed his mouth to her ear. "Turn around right now," he whispered harshly. "If you turn around and keep walking, you'll be right back where you were before. Understand?"

Near nodded. "Mello," she said, reaching up and laying a hand on his upper arm before he could pull away. "It's a boy," she whispered. "A son..."

Mello smirked against her ear. "I know that," he answered. "And he has my eyes. Do you think I wasn't there?"

"I don't even know what to name him...and it was because I didn't know you were there..."

Knowing exactly what she was getting at, Mello whispered something into her ear before letting his lips brush her cheek as he pulled away. The hard look was back in his eyes as he pointed over Near's shoulder. "Now get going," he commanded.

**-oOo-**

Near groaned and opened her eyes, feeling better than she had earlier.

"Thank God," someone whispered. "Natalie, are you alright?"

"Can you hear us?" the doctor asked her.

Near rolled her eyes upward to see their faces. "I'm fine..." she breathed, glancing toward Lidner, her blood donor. "Thank you..."

Later, when she was well enough, she got to see her son. Mello was right, she thought with a smile. The baby really _did_ have his eyes. A little bit of white hair crested his head, and when she put her hand to it, she found it much softer than she had expected. "Hello," she whispered. "Do you know who I am?"

The baby blinked solemnly at her.

Lidner sighed as she saw the color of his eyes. "Well, we were all right," she chuckled.

"You doubted it?" Rester sighed. "Natalie, do you know what his name is?"

Near nodded, not taking her eyes off her son. "Your name," she whispered, holding him closer to her, her breath tickling the top of his head, "is Mihael."


End file.
